Giving People Space to Emotionally Breathe
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is the concept of giving clients the space to “emotionally breathe.” This was a phrase my supervisor used that really stuck with me.
As I’ve started to experience therapy myself, I better understand the importance of providing a space for someone to exhale, release their emotions, and just let everything flow freely.
For me, this means listening carefully, being transparent, and allowing the client to express their feelings. Like I said, it’s about creating a space where they can drop their guard and speak freely, which often provides them with the clarity they need.
“Prepare, Not Repair”
A core value I hold in my practice is the idea of being proactive. “Prepare, not repair.” This approach encourages growth and development before a problem arises, rather than reacting when things go wrong. It’s like waiting until you’re out of shape to start exercising; it’s reactive. It’s about trying to fix something when it’s already a problem.
Instead, I prefer an optimisation approach, seeking growth for growth’s sake, so that when challenges come up, I am prepared. If I work on building skills, confidence, and resilience now, when it’s time to face a difficult situation, I’ll be ready.
In my experience, the best athletes and successful individuals follow this approach. They don’t wait for a problem to arise; they prepare in advance so they can perform at their best when it matters.
“Athletes Need to Know You Care Before They Care What You Know”
Quality relationships are foundational to effective support. For an athlete or client to trust you and value your input, they first need to know that you genuinely care about them as a person, not just as an athlete or a client. If they don’t trust your intentions, they won’t listen to what you have to say.
I quickly learned that the bond I build with an athlete is crucial before I can add value to their development. The way I behave, speak, and show up for them all communicate my level of care. If an athlete doesn’t feel respected or valued, they won’t be open to the support I offer.
Only after establishing trust and rapport can I truly influence their growth.
Learning to Be Friendly Without Being a Friend
As a psychologist, it’s important to build a good relationship with clients, but it’s equally important to maintain professional boundaries. Being overly friendly can blur these lines and lead to complications in the therapeutic relationship.
It’s a fine balance between being approachable and maintaining professionalism. While it’s important to connect with clients and show empathy, I also need to be mindful of the boundaries that separate me from being a friend. This means being careful about how much personal information I share and ensuring the relationship remains focused on the client’s needs.
Each relationship is different, and the boundaries might look different for each person. I’ve learned to reflect on my own definition of being “friendly” versus being “a friend,” so I can navigate each relationship with intention and respect.
These lessons have shaped my practice in profound ways and continue to guide me as I grow in my role. Each experience has helped me develop a deeper understanding of what it truly means to be an effective counsellor and support those in need.
Major shoutout to Dr. Jonathan Katz, top man.
Written by Natasha Bains
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